there is this quietness that seeps into me
through cracks and edges i have not yet managed to
close off and seal
the old me
the quiet me
the depressed me
the alone me
the old me
who
hardly
smiled
some times when
in the throes of that quietness
sitting uncomfortably with the noise and interaction around me
surrounded by my friends
friends of the “outgoing” me
those times i want to get up
shoulder my bag and walk away silently
just walk away
back to how i used to be
with silence as my company
with no complications and facades to keep up
back to when
i was alone
but not lonely
you have become so dependant
the memory of my old self taunts me
she says
look how we were, content
now you feel lonely every time you sit alone in public
I shake her words off
I reply to a comment a friend said
and in a few seconds of being silent
I hear her again
we used to want that, remember?
want to be alone
never unsatisfied by it
look at you now
i do remember
how i was completely content
of being by myself
i’ve changed
but not so much too
i still look around
look at this big group of friends
and wish i was alone once in a while
wish i could leave
without an explanation
simply because i want to
simply because i want that silence
i lived in for so long
which feels like a happy home for a visit
this noise
these interactions
become too much for me some times
i just want to sit quiet
with only my own thoughts
for a while
I look up, hearing my name
I become the present me again.
the old me slides away, now quiet, still a reminder
the other half of me no one knows
Wow I am stunned, such a beautiful write up on silence, I could relate myself with it so easily. I loved the flow of the thoughts in this one.
We all carve for that silence in today’s modern world.
Loved it.
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Thank you!
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This is amazing, I feel like this was wrote about me! So relatable and beautifully written, it’s rare that I comment on things like this, but I just wanted you to know that this is lovely, thank you for sharing it š
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Thank you! šā„
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This was so deep and relatable, I really enjoyed this
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Thank you! š
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