Only recently have I started following Zoella and Alfie Deyes (PointlessBlog) on YouTube and I really like watching their videos! They’re fun, cute, and I’ll be honest, 50% of why I watch them is so I can see their dog Nala again. She’s just sooo cute! I want a pug too!
I wasn’t much keen on vlogging before. I made this blog and I can stay anonymous or not, you don’t know how I look and can’t recognise me if you spot me on the street. I only found out about Zoella’s channel after reading her books Girl Online and Girl online on tour. Subsequently, I followed her boyfriend Alfie Deyes too.
I like the concept of vlogging, it’s basically blogging but showing your face too plus your voice, your expression and everything which just makes it all the more expressive. Then, eventfully, there was the audition for a new co-blogger on the WordNerds channel. I saw it the day it was posted and was in confusion about whether to do it or not until the last day open, two weeks later.
I’m under eighteen and I need to at least inform my parents about putting my face out there, out of decency/honesty/respect or something. But I was pretty sure they wouldn’t allow. Yet, I thought about it. I even decided what I was going to say in my audition video and everything. Finally, I rationally thought about it and decided not to audition. One, because I’m not sure I’ll be able to commit to it regularly, what with my reluctance to film when I’m not alone at home and real life things. Two, I didn’t think I would ve good enough. There’ll be so many people auditioning and I might not even get chosen but I wasn’t confident about talking to a camera and post the video. Three, I’m such a stranger to vlogging. I don’t know anything about editing and those things, and also would I be really able to make good videos to post?
When I decided not to audition, I reasoned that I’ll be starting college in a few months, I have entrance tests next month, I’m even participating in Camp NaNoWriMo. So many changes, will I be able to keep up with this too? I already have this blog and I decided I’m happy with this for now. Sure, the opportunity might never come again but maybe it isn’t meant to be.
I started up the audio blog for podcasts so I could talk too, sometimes. The thing is, I want to vlog and show my face and life. But I’m too hesitant and shy, and mainly worried. This isn’t America or Britian or any of those places where teens doing these things is accepted. I’m in India where every thought and idea of mine is recorded, noticed and judged on. This isn’t the country for it, and that’s quite sad.
Sometimes I feel like I was born in the wrong place, you know? Even my friends say that sometimes. I always seem to fit in but everyone has a feeling that I’m not completely like them. I don’t fit in completely, and I feel it most of all.
When I start to think thoughts like the above, I think about what all I would have missed on if I wasn’t born and brought up here, this way. I think about everything I should be grateful for. And there’s so much!
My friends, the fun we always have. I swear, I cannot imagine a life without the amount of laughter over stupid things, and basically just laughing with these peeps. Every single time we hang out, we laugh. We might cry and bare deep feelings but the same day we still laugh, have fun and be happy.
Adding a lighter topic since this is becoming a bit too deep, here’s another fact I’m grateful about. Don’t even get me started on the food. I see the meals shown in tv shows, movies and books, and I can’t imagine myself living that life. My Indian cuisine is beloved, I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to part with it for long. Yes, this might sound incredibly ridiculous and crazy but I love my food. I’m not necessarily a foodie, but I love eating good food. I haven’t eaten pancakes or things like that, but I know can’t stay without the food I have grown to love.
Our Indian schools and the ridiculousness we take part in everyday is the main highlight of my life yet. It’s the random small things that take place here and not (according to whatever I’ve seen and read about) in foreign schools. Note: I’m mainly comparing to America and Britain and rest popular places. Also, absolutely no offence intended to anyone. Just thought I’ll drop that here in the middle of a paragraph with a completely different topic. I hate our uniforms and I love the amount of complaining we do about hating it. I don’t like bitching about others but I like how people band together and become friends because they hate the same person. That is bizarre and shouldn’t be so, but who am I kidding? It is so.
This post has become long enough (I might blog about a normal school day in my life another time. Hmm, I have something to blog about in advance).
Look at this post’s topic. Start casual, go deep. Was I smooth doing that in my content? I think the title is pretty clever because that’s the extent of my IQ.
The grass is always greener on the other side, reader, we all know that. Perhaps it’s time for us to focus of how much warmer our grass is with rays of sunlight, which makes it lighter, than the other side covered in shade which makes it cool and appear greener. Maybe one day you’ll finally be able to cross to the other side, only to realise where you were was better. I, for one, am content enough. Not completely, for after all I’m human, but enough.
Be grateful for what you have and soak up the love and sunshine around you. If there is some shortage, there is a whole blogging community here waiting to shine some light, because that’s how we are. I’m just one in this large and amazing group.
Good bye until next time, and I hope you’ll look around in a little different view after reading this 💙
P.S. I’m sorry about this post being so vague and unstructured. I am supposed to be revising for my last final exam tomorrow and its almost 10pm now. I just felt like writing something and one topic tumbled into another until this post doesn’t even have a true topic anymore.